Cassie’s Space

(4 customer reviews)

Meet Cassie, a former wild child, who meets her match, and creates the match of a lifetime. To nearly all who know her now, Cassie is a vivacious, sweet southern lady, who is the epitome of grace and proper behavior. Look a tiny bit closer and you’ll see that Cassie has another side – the one whose language could make a sailor blush as she drinks him under the table.

Thanks to her loving husband Tom, who even after thirty years of marriage never hesitates to put Cassie over his knee when she strays too far from his view of ladylike behavior, few people other than close old friends know this side of Cassie exists.

Cassie and Tom show that love and passion are not the sole property of the young. Love and passion grows and changes with age. While aging may bring on challenges, the love and passion between these two people only grows stronger.

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Sample Chapter

Have you ever wondered how others view you? I recently had the privilege of accidentally overhearing two ladies discuss me. While I realize most people frown upon eavesdropping, I couldn’t stop my ears from perking up and listening.

“She’s such a lady. Wouldn’t you love to be like that someday, refined, gracious, and elegant? I think she could wear a potato sack and still look like a queen. I love to hear her laugh: You can tell she just enjoys herself wherever she is. She’s fun to be around.”

“I think it’s Tom who keeps her so happy,” the other lady chimed in. “He’s pretty darned good looking for an older man. And they are so sweet together. He holds chairs for her, opens the car door even, they hold hands ? I think they’re precious. I want to be her when I grow up ? the perfect, southern lady.”

As soon as I moved out of earshot I laughed. Never before had I heard such a mixture of tiny bits of truth with the most ridiculous misconceptions in the world. I knew the truth. For much of my life, I do not think people would have used the word “lady” as the first word to describe me. In fact, “lady” may have been way down the list. I might never have made it to that lovely description had I not met Tom Duff. Perhaps these women described the ‘lady’ always buried within me, but Tom gave me the space, protection, and courage to allow her to come to the surface. I owe Tom everything.

****

Please forgive me: I haven’t properly introduced myself. My parents christened me Cassandra Jacquelyn Wentworth. A bit pretentious, don’t you think? But my parents were pretentious people. I’m Cassie to those who love me and “Cassie Jane” when I displease Tom. I often think back to our beginning as a couple ? so much has happened since then.

I was twenty-nine when Tom came into my life. At that time I found myself often the fifth wheel when I partied with my best friends, Sue and Steve Moore, and Annie and Andy Holmes. Tom joined the firm where Steve and Andy worked. He had known both men for several years, but he had recently moved to our area.

Tom came to a party thrown by their new firm and, as he tells it, he walked in to see a wondrous sight. He saw me dancing, and for a moment, he tells me, all else faded into the background. I suppose I did look pretty good back then. I was young and I had a curvy figure back then when women were supposed to have curves ? I had countless hours and money to devote to my wardrobe, make-up, and hair. I liked to look good when I went out. But Tom claims my looks alone didn’t attract him.. He liked the whole package. He liked the way I danced, the way I smiled and the way I laughed. He tells me he might not have experienced love at first sight, but certainly infatuation. Now I’ll admit the first time I saw him, I felt lust at first sight, but Tom has higher moral fiber.

Tom didn’t approach me at the party. He has always believed in studying a situation before plunging in. So he says he spent the whole party watching me from a distance. He stayed in the background and I never saw him. He noticed several things right away ? I drank too much, I could be very forward, and I used unladylike language. After a time, he made his way over to Steve and Andy. Motioning toward me, he asked one question, “Who’s that?”

Both men turned to look at the subject of Tom’s interest and burst out laughing. “That, my friend,” said Steve, “is Cassie, and she’s one of a kind, a very interesting woman. She’s a beautiful, rich widow. Wild as a hare and someone you definitely don’t want to get tangled up with. Men who get involved with Cassie say it’s like cozying up to a wood chipper ? she grinds you up and spits you out.” Steve laughed again and shook his head. “Come with me,” he told Tom. “I know a beautiful woman who will suit your taste much more.”

Tom frowned at him and looked back at me. Then he turned to Andy and waited.

Andy laughed, too, but in a much nicer way. “Steve’s not wrong. She’s hard as nails if you cross her: She’s got a temper for sure. But Cassie has a sweet, gentle, loving side, too. I think the temper may just be a cover because she’s scared. I don’t know of what, exactly. We dated for a while and I think the world of her, but I swear dating her is like herding cats. I think she’s obstinate to the point of being self-destructive. I tried to get her to stop drinking one night and instead, she began doing shots. She’s like a kid who won’t turn down a dare. Another time, she and I had a minor disagreement. The next thing I knew, she’d picked up some guy on a motorcycle and taken off with him, her dress hiked up around her ass. Couldn’t find her for two days, then she called Sue to pick her up at the hospital. She had a dislocated shoulder. She never told any of us how it happened, not even Sue. She’s too wild to deal with, Tom. I think she’s determined to kill herself before she’s through.”

Even today, I can just picture the look on Tom’s face at all the tales they told him. But I still wonder what went on in his mind. Why didn’t he run for the hills as fast as he could? Instead he wanted to know more. “You say she’s a widow? She’s young. What happened?”

Steve turned serious for a moment. “Now her husband was a real prick, used to beat the shit out of her. When he died of a heart attack every last one of us wanted to throw a party to celebrate. Left Cassie a ton of money, though. I guess she can party for the rest of her life ? however long that may be.”

“How did she end up with him?” Tom wanted to know.

Andy took up the story. “Her loving father picked that sorry asshole for her. The guy was in his forties and Cassie was barely twenty. Her old man wanted a merger with the guy’s company and I think he threw Cassie in to sweeten the pot. That sick old bastard knew the guy beat her and never said a word to him. Once she escaped her family and the abusive husband, I guess she decided she’d take care of herself. I just don’t know if she can keep it up.”

“Quite a story,” Tom mused.

“She’s quite a woman,” Andy agreed. “But honestly, Tom, she’s got more baggage than even you could help carry. She’s not for you. You’ll get hurt. And I don’t want to see that happen.” Andy and Steve wandered off, leaving Tom watching me and thinking of all they had said.

Without even knowing it, I had made an impression on the man I would love for the rest of my life.

I certainly remember the first time I noticed Tom. We both attended a party the following weekend and this time, I saw him the minute he walked in. He took my breath away. I realize tall, dark, and handsome is a bit of a clich?, but those words describe him perfectly. I remember being captivated by Tom’s eyes. The deep blue and calm steadiness caught my attention. The first time I laid eyes on him I nearly lost my breath.

I lost no time cornering Sue at her party. “Sue, who is that? Good lord. He’s beautiful, I want him.”

Sue looked in his direction. “Oh, that’s Tom Duff. He just joined Steve’s firm. Steve says he’s brilliant.”

“I don’t want his brain. I just want the rest of him.” I told her with a laugh.

However, getting him proved more difficult than expected. Now, no one would have called me shy at that time in my life, but somehow I couldn’t quite bring myself to talk to him directly. I felt shy around him, for some strange reason. We were definitely aware of one another, every time I stole a look at him I would catch him looking back at me. I began slyly stalking Tom as he moved from group to group. I would attach myself to his group and tell a lurid bit of gossip or perhaps an off-color joke ? I knew them all. I just wanted him to say something to me. He did seem to notice. Every time I spoke he would look right at me with an intense gaze. I felt he really had something he wanted to say, but he held back. This man had me intrigued. What was he thinking?

I had to get to know this man.

This went on for several weeks, as we attended many of the same gatherings. We continued watching one another, then we began exchanging smiles, and finally, he asked me out. I felt as excited as a young girl getting ready for her first date. We may not have talked much as we’d flirted up until then, but we made up for it on that first date. I so enjoyed talking to Tom. I normally did a lot of talking, but Tom listened, a new experience for me. Our conversation covered a wide range of topics and he seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.

I felt truly smitten and more than willing to go to bed with this beautiful man. I don’t feel Tom had any doubts about my willingness. Unfortunately, he took me home, gently kissed me goodnight, and left. Though sorely disappointed by his actions, he completely intrigued me.

The next week, Tom invited me to dine at Marco’s, a new restaurant in town. I loved it the moment we walked in. An old wine cellar had been converted into this beautiful restaurant. Candlelight showed the rustic brick walls as the hostess led us to our table. Perhaps this romantic little dinner would help me lead Tom to further romance later that evening. Unfortunately, as the evening progressed I became more and more annoyed. Although I found the food superb, I did not feel we received the best service. The waiter had lagged in taking our drink orders and we waited nearly thirty minutes for our appetizers. I should have relaxed and enjoyed spending time with Tom, but instead I became aggravated. Patience has never been my strong suit, but back then my short temper could flare in a flash, and I did not like being ignored. As my wait for another glass of wine lengthened I finally snapped, “Where the hell is the damn waiter? I’m dying of thirst.”

I saw that intense look suffuse Tom’s expression. He looked me right in the eye and said, “You are a beautiful woman, a true lady. Why do you use such vulgar language?”

Goodness, all I’d said was ‘damn.’ And thus I experienced my first introduction to Tom’s ideas about the proper behavior of a lady.

I think I muttered an apology, but I really thought, “Who the hell do you think you are to tell me how to talk? I’m nearly thirty damn years old.” But despite the poor service and Tom’s mild scolding, we still managed to enjoy our evening. On subsequent dates, we danced and went to casinos, concerts, plays, and parties. And we talked. I loved that the most interesting and attentive man I’ve ever met talked to me. Still, I couldn’t get him into bed.

We had dated nearly every night for about a month when Tom suggested a picnic. We drove far out into the countryside. Tom had found a beautiful spot he wanted to show me. I had laughed at the idea of a picnic. I was not a country girl. But what I saw when we came to the end of a short trail through the forest delighted me. A small meadow appeared before us in the woods: I had never seen anything quite like it. Wildflowers covered the meadow, the flowers alive with butterflies. We startled a small family of bunnies that took off zigzagging through the grass.

I laughed as I looked at Tom. “Is this a real place? I feel like if I hold out my finger a bird will come and sit on it and sing to me.”

?“We’ll have to give that a try later,” Tom agreed, as he spread a quilt under a large tree at the edge of the woods. That meadow had such a calming effect on me. Those who knew me then called me ‘high strung’, but this had turned into a wonderful day. Tom had packed a simple picnic: French bread, cheeses, strawberries, and wine, perfect for an intimate picnic. After we ate, Tom leaned back against the tree and I leaned back against him, feeling completely content.

“Tom, this is perfect. There’s not a damn thing I want back in the city. I’m ready to stay here forever.”

Tom’s arms held me and I felt his muscles tense as I spoke. “Cassie, I told you I don’t want you to use that language,” he spoke sharply. His reprimand quickly shattered my calm.

“What’s wrong with you?” I sat up, glaring at him. “I said ‘damn’. What’s the big deal?”

“No lady speaks that way,” he insisted. “You make an impression on people by how you speak. When you act like a lady people will treat you like one. Speaking like that just invites disrespect. You need to stop.”

My temper simmered just below the surface. Anyone telling me how to act or speak most definitely rubbed me the wrong way. But I didn’t want to fight with Tom. He puzzled me, but I really did enjoy spending time with him. I swallowed a comment that would have let him know just how unladylike I could be. I got up and refilled my wine glass and sat on the other side of the blanket, looking out over the quiet meadow. Tom hadn’t said any more. I didn’t want an angry silence to grow, so I turned back to him, only to see he had fallen asleep. I couldn’t help grinning and shaking my head in confusion ? who was this man? I couldn’t get him to go to bed with me. I didn’t speak ‘ladylike’ enough to suit him. He had made some passing comments that he thought I drank too much. He certainly did not need my money. What did he want?

As I watched him doze against the tree, looking so peaceful, I decided it didn’t matter. From my experiences, men didn’t stay around long enough for me to worry much about what they thought. But I found him fun and gorgeous and I had to get him into my bed before he lost interest.

Tom woke slowly and I watched him stretch and look over at me. “Not very gallant of me to fall asleep. I’m sorry.”

I laughed at him. “I guess you can’t be a gentleman all the time,” I quipped. “Come on, I want to explore.”

We held hands as we wandered down a little path through the woods. Experiencing nature felt other-worldly for me. Tom pointed out trees beavers had chewed on. We followed the path to the water’s edge where they had actually created a dam. Amazing! I wanted a closer look. Too eager to view nature in action, I should have paid more attention to where I stepped. I found myself in mud so deep that it sucked one of my brand new shoes right off my foot. The shoe ruined, I gave in to my temper.

“Look at this fucking shit,” I nearly screamed. It took so little back then to have me spinning off into a rage, and this had done it. “This is the first time I’ve worn these damn shoes. This shit’s all over them.”

“Cassie,” Tom barked. “I’m not listening to that lang?”

“You don’t like the way I talk? Shit, shit, shit!” I shouted. “I’ll say anything I damn well please. Who the hell are you to tell me how to talk?”

“That’s enough,” Tom interrupted in a strangely calm voice.

“You’re damn right it’s enough,” I snapped. “Get out of my face and don’t tell me how to talk.”

Tom gave me a deeply penetrating look that I’ve come to know well over our many years together, but that first time, I had no idea what he had in mind. He took a firm grip on my upper arm and practically dragged me over to one of the beaver-felled trees. Tom sat and with one yank I found myself over his lap. He had probably landed three or four hard swats on my rear before it sank into my angry, confused mind that the man was spanking me, as if he needed to teach me ? a woman of nearly thirty ? a lesson.

I went ballistic. I would not allow this to happen. I tried to throw myself off his lap. Flailing my arm back and kicking, I tried to escape his grip, but it didn’t work. Tom grabbed my free hand and held it tightly as he put his leg over mine. I felt as trussed as a Christmas turkey as he held me firmly over his lap. Through all this struggling the spanking never slowed. I couldn’t believe how badly it hurt.

I finally realized he talked to me the whole time. I didn’t catch it all, but I got the gist: ‘inappropriate’ language. “You’re not going to use that language around me, or anyone else. You’re a lady: You’re not going to talk like a streetwalker.”

If he thought he had heard cussing before, what I cut loose with then did not compare to what he’d heard me say before. But the more I cussed the harder he spanked. I didn’t think I could take much more. No one had ever spanked me before and the pain shocked me. I couldn’t catch my breath. Something had to give. I would not allow myself to beg him to stop. But I finally had to shut my mouth and grit my teeth to keep from crying. I refused to allow him the satisfaction of feeling he had ‘humbled’ me.

When he finally stopped, I still shook with rage and jerked to get away. Tom began rubbing my bottom gently, with the hand he had just used to burn me up. “Are you okay?” he asked gently.

Of course I was not okay, he’d just spanked me. But I had heard genuine compassion in his voice and that only served to confuse me further. Tom helped me to my feet and held me firmly at arm’s length.

“Look at me,” he said quietly. I glared at him, letting my fury show clearly.

He looked at me steadily with those incredible blue eyes: the look on his face bewildered me. In his face I saw understanding, concern, and caring. His look mesmerized me.? Very quietly, he asked me a question that changed my life.

“Cassie, has no one ever cared for you enough to make you behave yourself?”

I suppose all of life is just a matter of timing. I had known the answer to that question all my life, though I’d avoided thinking of that particular reality. At that moment, Tom found a way to break open the shell I lived in. As I write this, it seems such a simple question, but as I had stood looking at him, the answer to his question flooded my mind and the hurt went much deeper than the spanking had.

The answer was no. No one had ever cared for me that much. I started crying. I hadn’t cried in front of another person since I was a child. My first husband had never seen me cry, and here I was, bawling in front of a man I’d only known for a few short weeks.

Tom scooped me up and carried me back to our quilt. He pulled out his handkerchief and gave it to me before sitting down and leaning back against the tree, cuddling me on his lap. My bottom throbbed from the spanking as he held me, but the comfort of his arms around me and his gentle words overrode the pain.

So many thoughts and feelings swirled around in my mind, but I could hear Tom talking to me quietly. “You’re all right now. I’m not going anywhere. Relax, honey, you’re safe.”

I finally stopped crying and took a tentative look at Tom. Oh my, those blue eyes were so close. I didn’t know what to say so I just reached up and kissed him softly. Soon our gentle kisses became more passionate. We made love for the first time in that beautiful meadow, so many years ago, yet still so clear in my memory.

For the previous five years I had followed no one’s rules but my own. I’d had sex with so many men during those years. But in that beautiful meadow, for the first time in my life, a man had made love to me. The contrast amazed me so much I felt like a virgin.

Afterward I felt as if a dam had burst, I opened up and talked to Tom more than I had ever talked to anyone before. I told him of my childhood, although I rarely spoke about it before. It hadn’t been horrible, just lonely. And even back then I didn’t remember many details, but I do remember that feeling of overwhelming loneliness. My parents had a son to carry on the family business. I’d always felt like an unnecessary and unwanted annoyance.

I couldn’t bring myself to talk of my first marriage and I didn’t know at the time Andy and Steve had filled Tom in a bit. I told Tom so much from the past that afternoon. I’ve often thought the spanking I received and sharing my memories with Tom that afternoon saved me twenty years of therapy. Yet I did not want Tom feeling sorry for me so I emphatically told him, “All that’s in the past. I’m having the time of my life now.”

“Really?” he asked me. “Is everything in your life the way you want it?”

“Of course it is,” I assured him. “I can travel and shop and party day and night, what’s not to like?”

“I think you need more than that. You need someone who cares for you, someone to protect you and make you feel safe.”

I laughed. “That’s silly. I’m not scared of anything. As for the rest, it makes a great fairytale, but I don’t need it. I’m happy with my life and I can take care of myself.”

How grateful I am to this day that Tom knew I lied through my teeth. Of course I found out much later that he knew a thing or two about me that I didn’t know myself.

4 reviews for Cassie’s Space

  1. jeanped (verified owner)

    Though I am not a big fan of the first person accounts, I have to admit that I enjoyed Cassie\\\’s story immensely. I laughed out loud at some of Cassie\\\’s outrageous stories cause frankly I could see myself doing the same… What a fun read… I am off to read book two… I hope it\\\’s as good as the first installment!

  2. jeanped (verified owner)

    Though I am not a big fan of the first person accounts, I have to admit that I enjoyed Cassie’s story immensely. I laughed out loud at some of Cassie’s outrageous stories cause frankly I could see myself doing the same… What a fun read… I am off to read book two… I hope it’s as good as the first installment!

  3. Rhonda

    I originally found this light heartened funny book on another site. I\’m so glad the author has joined Blushing Books as she has quickly become one of my favorites! If you enjoy books that make you smile from page 1 till the end this is definately the book for you.

  4. Rhonda

    I originally found this light heartened funny book on another site. I’m so glad the author has joined Blushing Books as she has quickly become one of my favorites! If you enjoy books that make you smile from page 1 till the end this is definately the book for you.

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