The space between where pain melds into pleasure is a place of need. Our psyche takes what it wants without always telling us why. Why does the heated sting of bare, vulnerable flesh transcend into ripples of ecstasy rolling into waves of carnal cravings? What does it matter, if what satisfies that primitive desire completes the link between want and necessity?
Becca Johnson is about to find out what it means to be dominated.
There was a reason for all the clich? fantasies, stereotypes and generalizations. What my mind was focused on right now was the more sexual side of that statement. Men want the cheerleader, the nurse, the schoolgirl and the librarian because they all hold the same dueling taboo. On one side you have an innocent, na?ve young woman who sees the world in beauty and wants to nurture, learn or help. On the other is the darker side, the nymph who can control a man with a subtle bite of her lip, a quick flash of panties or even giving a fake sense of submission.
Women are a bit more complicated, as you might have guessed, but they still follow the rules. They want a man in a suit, a man in a flannel and a beard. They want the cowboy, the firefighter the teacher, the man who commands the room and her attention. We all have a primal need for protection and even though all those classic male images are drastically different, they all share the same quality of power, protection, and command.
I think the same thing goes for the blending of pain with pleasure. My mind shot directly to the feeling of a man?s hand falling swiftly on my bare ass. It created a beautiful sense of stinging heat that rippled into a pleasure I couldn?t describe. What was it about that clich?, that common delight that seemed to speak to most every woman?
I had read a study from Dr. Hawley that stated, ??that forceful submission fantasies are ?generally constructed as an ardent, passionate pursuit rather than force per se?? For alpha females, apparently, submission is empowering.?
These words swirled in me as my mind wandered.
The warm spring air whipped through my car as I drove down the Pacific Coast Highway back home from the University of Santa Barbara. Spring Break was raging through my campus and while heading down to Cabo, or some other sun-drenched location sounded perfect, the idea of a whole house to myself with no roommates, no parents or responsibilities for a whole week sounded better.
Freshly twenty-two and a senior in college, I felt like an endless array of possibilities were laid out in front of me like the winding road along the beach. The sound of Bruce Springsteen was barely audible above the whizzing wind.
My name is Rebecca, or Becca as I prefer to be called. My parents have a house in Santa Monica, California, and with any luck I can avoid most traffic, depending on the PCH to get me there quickly. I wasn?t planning on coming home for spring break, but after plans changed at least a dozen times with my flaky friends, and the week-long trip my parents planned to visit friends on the east coast, I figured that an empty house sounded pretty nice.
I had been dating a grad student for a while, but as he approached leaving school and getting a real job, for some reason he just freaked out. It was almost like Chad didn?t want to grow up. Having taken my fair share of philosophy classes while I still dabbled with what my major would finally be, he was clinging to the college life. He wanted to party, sleep in and avoid as many responsibilities as possible.
I?m totally all for the party scene and making some bad choices, but I didn?t want to date a boy anymore. Being youthful and having fun is one thing, but steering clear of maturity altogether made him less of a man in my eyes. I wanted to be with someone that had his shit together – someone who could cut loose and still be on time for a job.
I made a few turns along the sunny streets of Santa Monica and found myself passing my old high school. I guess they were still in session, judging by the gathering of students changing classes for the final period of the day. My car halted at the stop sign as my eyes drifted towards the teachers? parking lot. He was still there.
Mr. Stone had been the burning object of my hormone-fueled desire throughout high school. As my snooping friend found out, he was twenty-five when he started teaching us, so he was young. But he had a brilliant way about him. His presence commanded the classroom. His baritone force was sprinkled with excitement and exuberance as his hands waved in the air during lectures.
He taught history to sophomores, juniors and seniors, and at the same time was the theater teacher for the entire school. Daniel Stone was both passionate and smart. His short brown hair, chiseled jawline, contagious smile and gregarious personality put him at the forefront of every conversation my friends and I ever had about sex.
It was because of him that I had auditioned for the plays and actually, come to think of it, dated a few of the guys I had. Each guy had some element of Daniel in him. Whether it was the sense of humor, commanding personality, sweetness or just damn good-looking it was a piece of him I could not have.
A loud honk burst the bubble of my thoughts and brought me back to the intersection and back to driving.
The front door swung open, letting out a loud creak that echoed through the front of the house. My parents weren?t rich, but we were pretty well off. About ten blocks from the beach, the house was blend of Spanish and Modern styles that oddly seemed to work perfectly.
?Anyone home?? I kicked the door closed behind me and heaved my bags onto the stone floor. No answer.
?Well, I guess that answers that, then.? I kicked off my sandals and threw my sunglasses on the small entry-hall table. Just as I pulled open the refrigerator my phone rang.
?Hey, Mom.? I pulled out a beer and tried to open it as quietly as possible. Even though I was twenty-one, I didn?t want them to know the extent of my habits and vices.
?Becca, are you home yet?? Her voice was muffled by the noise of a crowd.
?Yup, just walked through the door. Where are you guys?? I took a small sip. The beer was ice-cold and so refreshing. College was filled with foamy kegs and warm beer. This was a welcomed departure.
?We?re waiting at baggage claim for our stuff. You father is already complaining about how much I packed.? I heard a smile in her voice. I imagined my dad grumbling as he struggled with the three large suitcases I figured she had packed.
?So you guys are coming back next Thursday?? My mind raced with plans for the next week and half. It was only Tuesday, that meant I had almost ten days to sit out by the pool, catch up with some old friends and not have to worry about roommates, schoolwork or for that matter, damn near anything.
?Well, that?s the plan as of now. You know how your father gets when he?s around those guys. I just hope that I don?t have to call you for bail.? My mom laughed. Apparently the last few times my parents and their friends had gotten together the police had been called for a noise disturbance, and one of them was charged with public drunkenness. That?s one thing I could say for my parents, they knew how to party.
?Sounds good, Mom.? I wanted to get off the phone and dive straight into nothingness.
?Oh, your dad has our stuff, gotta go?Wait Becca don?t hang up!? I pushed the phone back to my ear. ?There?s some money in the kitchen for food and whatnot and the pool guy was just there yesterday, so it?s clean. I love you! Bye!?
The call ended as I turned to the glass doors, looking out onto the crystal clear pool. I smiled. Beer, pool and some sun: perfect. I had no plans. None of my friends knew I was home, and with no obligations I was pretty much free to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to do it.
I grabbed a towel from the cabinet and another beer before I headed out to the pool. The warm stone welcomed my bare feet as I made my way to the small table next to the pool. Pushing a few buttons on the remote that controlled the outdoor audio system, the sweet sounds of summertime music filled the backyard, just loud enough to blend into the background.
Since no one was around I didn?t bother with a bathing suit, and to be honest, there was a large part of me that reveled in the freedom of being naked outdoors. As I pulled my top and shorts off, I stood stretching towards the sun, letting the toasty rays kiss my body. Kicking the large floating bed in to the water, I snatched my beer and lay down, surrendering my body to the gentle waves of the pool.
My mind drifted as the soft ripples slowly calmed. I thought back to one of the last times I had been naked outdoors. Last summer, my boyfriend and a few of our friends had stayed at someone?s family condo out in Palm Desert. It was a weekend filled with drinking and partying. The first night we were there the guys challenged the girls to play beer pong, so we made teams and began the battle.
Since there were three of us girls and four guys, the three of us were one team and the guys broke into two teams of two. I don?t know what the problem was, but our team was sucking. The guys kept sinking shot after shot. The first game went by so fast, I don?t think we even got a chance to play.
So, I decided to take the bull by the horns. When we started again, I playfully leaned over the table and squeezed my tits together. My bikini top was already stretched pretty tight across my chest, and it was like the guys weren?t looking already.
Taking my lead, Jenna and Liz did the same. Pulling out bikini bottoms up so that they rode into thongs, sucking on our fingers, and nearly kissing drove the guys to lose the next couple games. Finally Bret, the one guy without a girlfriend there, got frustrated.
?This is fucking ridiculous! I?m the only one here without a girlfriend and I have to sit here and watch this? The least you can do is show me your tits!? His beer sloshed with him from side to side as he playfully berated us.
?Nope, sorry.? I shook my head and blew him a kiss.
?Fine? then, then we play for it.? It was like a dull light bulb was straining to turn an idea on in his head.
?If I?m not gonna get any, I wanna see it.? Bret was slurring just enough to make his statement funny. I looked at Chad, who was drinking quite a bit as well.
?Ok, so if we win the next game you?guys gotta get naked.? Bret raised his beer and slammed it into Jenna?s boyfriend, Kevin?s beer.
?I don?t think so Bret.? Jenna took a sip of her beer and crossed her arms.
?Hold up Jenna,? I shifted my weight on to one of my hips. ?I want to hear what we get if we win.?
?Shit, I don?t care.? Bret stumbled.
?I?ll do you?re chemistry paper.? Kevin tilted his head towards Jenna.
?I?ll take you to Catalina for the weekend.? Roger sauntered over to Liz and put his arms around her.
?What about me, Chad, what do I get?? I pouted.
?Alright, if you win I?ll take you shopping and uh? I?ll get two, now three new things?within reason.? He smiled.
?Girls, what do you think?? We all huddled up on the opposite side of the table and began to whisper.
?I have no problem getting naked, do you guys?? Liz shook her tits from side to side jokingly.
?Not at all. And to tell you the truth, I probably would have gotten naked tonight in the pool anyway.? I took a sip of my beer and looked at Jenna.
?Fine? I guess.? Jenna seemed hesitant. I didn?t know if something was wrong, or if she was just worried about Kevin staring at two other women?s naked bodies.
?If you don?t want to, sweetheart, we can counter-offer. I mean, I don?t want to rock the boat if you don?t want to do this.? The guys were getting impatient while we talked.
?No?no? it?s cool. I?m just nervous. I don?t think I?m as outgoing as you guys.? Her eyes drifted down to my tits. While Liz and I somewhat flaunted our full C cup breasts, Jenna was a small B. She had a great body, but of course, when it comes to drunk guys, they want to see tits.
?Jenna, honey, I don?t know what you have to worry about. I should be worried about Chad forgetting about me when he sees your ass.? I smacked her barely covered ass.
?Are you guys done yet? The offer is leaving the table.? The guys opened up four more beers and waited.
?Are we good?? Jenna shifted her eyes from me to Liz.
?Yeah?yeah we are.? Liz nodded and we broke our huddle.
?So, you win we get naked, and when we win you guys are going to do all that shit you said, right?? I coked my hips out to one side.
?Yup, but you got that reversed, sweetheart.? Something about Chad?s arrogant tone drove me nuts. I knew he was putting on the male bravado for his friends, but whenever he did this, it just made my skin crawl.
?What about Bret? What do we get from him when we win?? Liz looked at her boyfriend and then at Bret.
?Well, shit? I?ll uh? If you win I?ll, I dunno?what do you want?? He shrugged his shoulders.
?I want to see him naked.? Jenna looked somehow defiant, as if he we were going to do it, so was he.
?Fine?whatever?you guys cool with your ladies seeing me in my birthday suit?? Bret wiggled his hips and waved his arms like he was some sort of comical stripper.